It's the things we love the most that destroy us
by Aria DC al Fine
Summary: Every time dark dots appeared on his twin's skin, he didn't know if they were really just freckles or tiny symbols depicting someone's adoration. Not that Rin wasn't happy Yukio was loved. It was just… Rin hadn't got a new mark since he was four. He'd always had the seven. AU, where love leaves a mark on a person's skin. RenzouxYukio, ToudouxYukio, RinxYukio (kinda), RinxShiemi.


Inspired by The Fixed Foot by samalander (AO3)

Title of the story is a quote from Hunger Games: Mockingjay

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><p>Chapter 1: Can't Lie about Loving You<p>

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><p>When Rin was fourteen, he had seven marks on his skin.<p>

The round, yellow face of the Anpanman [1] above his belly button – that was Maruta's. Izumi's was a black porcupine below his collarbone. Nagatomo's was a brown farmer's hat not far from that, and Kyodo's was a dark grey goat's head, the Aries-like symbol on his right flank. That_Kuso Jiji's_ was a maroon grinning bespectacled face doodled on his heart, his smirk mischievous and sparkling. The blue lily behind his left ear that was an exact match to Yukio's behind his right ear must be their mom's, whoever she was, God bless her. [2]

And of course, the largest mark of them all was the cross in the middle of his back,spanning across his shoulder blades and bright red, conspicuous and impossible to miss. The unmistakable proof of the love of his one and only brother.

The mark was also how Rin was sure Yukio would succeed in his pursuit of becoming a doctor.

(_And of course, all of them are coloured, because Rin loved them back with all his might._)

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><p>"Ah!" Rin stared as his brother took off his sweater in the locker room of the communal bath of the monastery. "That's…" He pointed at the back of Yukio's left elbow.<p>

"Hmm?" The short-sighted teen squinted at the patch of skin Rin was nearly poking. "What's there?" He lifted his arm closer to his face and supported it with his right hand, completely exposing the one hell of a luminous blue fist on his left flank, almost covering the entirety of his ribcage. Rin's proof of his love for Yukio was equally eye-catching.

"A flower…Sakura, I think," Rin inched closer and invaded Yukio's personal space. The other boy didn't seem to mind the slightest bit. "Who could it be…" he tilted his head in thought before recalling a classmate who had Sakura-patterned ribbons tied around her ponytails. "Ah! The long-haired girl who sits on the first row! Second table from the windows! What's her name-"

"Iwata-san," Yukio answered reflexively before he stopped rummaging for his spectacles from the clothes hamper. "Oh…it's just a soul mark."

Rin pouted. "What do you mean, 'just' a soul mark? Isn't this, like, the third new one you have this year? Aren't you a popular one?"

(To say that Rin wasn't jealous…would be a lie. Every time dark dots appeared on his twin's skin, he didn't know if they were really just freckles or tiny symbols depicting someone's adoration. Not that Rin wasn't happy Yukio was loved; Yukio was a good, bright, kind boy, worthy of being admired like celebrities who had so many marks on their skin they couldn't help but let the camera see them. It was just…

Rin hadn't got a new mark since he was four. He'd always had the seven for as long as he could remember.)

"It was an expression of relief, Nii-san," Yukio's voice brought Rin back to earth. "I thought it was an injury or something." He spoke absently as he pulled his trousers off.

"Why would an honours student like you worry about an injury?" Rin grumbled as he continued staring at the black outlines of the flower on Yukio's elbow. It was uncoloured, like the star below the first knob of the spine Rin could see stretching against the back of his neck when his brother bent his head, the rainbow on his right shoulder blade, the snake curled around his hipbone.

All the feelings his brother didn't return.

(There was a four-leaved clover hovering above Rin's blue fist, though, glowing grass green under fluorescent lamps. Rin had pestered his brother about it since it first appeared around half a year ago, but Yukio's lips were sealed, no matter what Rin did.

Rin didn't know what to feel about it.)

Yukio must have felt the weight of Rin's gaze. "Don't mind them, Nii-san," he broke the pocket of silence that had emerged with a soft, serious tone. "Most of them will disappear in a year, I bet." He suddenly smiled at Rin. "Come, Nii-san!" The moley four-eyes grabbed his older brother's arm, "let me scrub your back!"

"Eh? So rare! Are you going to charge me a fee?" Rin joked and let the topic of conversation slide.

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><p>(True enough, he didn't see the Sakura again in the May of their third year of Junior High School.)<p>

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><p>"Okumura Yukio…right?"<p>

The Middle First Class Exorcist nearly jumped out of his skin. When he read the memo on his 'in' tray telling him to reach the place on the other side of the door unlocked by the key attached to the envelope at a certain time, Yukio didn't think he would be meeting the Paladin Sir Arthur Auguste Angel, and the Arc Knight Sir Lewin Light.

Honestly, he'd thought it was one of the Principal's quirky ways to summon him to his office (again).

"Sir!" Yukio stood straighter and fought the urge to perform a hand salute. True Cross Order wasn't a militant.

The Master of Lightning only laughed at the dragoon. "Don't be so stiff! Come, come, sit down," he pulled the chair to his right and offered it to him, his expression hidden by the wide brim of his hat.

Sir Arthur remained on his seat, his arms crossed over his chest. He gave Yukio a short nod as the younger male took up the offer.

"Now, you'll forgive us if we forego the pleasantries and go straight to the heart of the matter, won't you?" Sir Light grinned at Yukio, the curve of his lips not one bit trustworthy.

Yukio nodded, actually glad for that because his curiosity was crushing him.

The two high-classed exorcists from the Vatican exchanged a glance before Sir Arthur looked aside and fixed his collar to hide the mark that was peeking out of the side of his neck. Sir Light shrugged and exhaled, like he'd lost the silent battle of 'who's letting the cat out of the bag.'

"We're speaking to you on behalf of the Grigori," the wavy-haired man took out a piece of paper from his sling bag. "Before we start, we'd like you to, once again, swear confidentiality and affix a seal to the Morina's contract."

Yukio stared at familiar document warily, before he pricked his thumb and pressed it to the paper, feeling the magic bind him.

"Right, now that we've got that in order…" Sir Light rolled the sleeves of his black overcoat and leaned forward with his elbows on the table. Despite having revealed much of his skin, Yukio couldn't see any mark on him yet. "Having encountered them in Shimane, you have first-hand experience of the Illuminati."

"Yes," Yukio replied the question which had been disguised as a statement. He wondered if they were going to ask for his opinions of the organization. Memories of the mad, rotund scientist made him want to hurl.

His face must have turned pale or something, because Sir Light hummed. "Ah, judging from your expression, you're acquainted to the atrocities they have no qualms causing. That makes our dialogue easier, I suppose," the middle-aged man brought his fingers together under his chin. "My familiars who managed to infiltrate the Illuminati told me they are interested in you."

Yukio took a sharp breath.

(_A deformed face, half crumbled into ashes, a hole where the nose should be. Rainwater seeped through the muddy, maniacal grin, one eye looking up raptly at him._

"_That's a nice look," Toudou sneered. "The look of a demon."_

"_That's your true nature."_)

The dragoon clenched his fists. "…I-"

"Unfortunately, they discovered my familiars, and now the Order has no means of knowing what the Illuminati is planning," Sir Light moved on before Yukio could speak up. "But…may be that can change?"

The realization of what they were asking him made Yukio's pulse spike till it felt like his heart was beating a mile a minute. "…Sir," the teen forced the word out of his gritted teeth. "They were interested in Kamiki-san, too, as an experiment subject. I don't think an experiment subject can make an effective spy…"

"No, they can't," Sir Light nodded sagely, but didn't withdraw from the table. "Rest assured, my familiars were able to discern that they are not interested in you for such purposes."

_How can you be so sure!?_ Yukio screamed inside his head, but his expression remained calm.

Suddenly, Sir Light's grin turned wider. "That's it!" He aimed his point finger at the younger exorcist.

Yukio blinked. "I beg your pardon, Sir?"

"You must be inwardly freaking out, but I don't feel any of it," the Arc Knight stretched his hand out to Yukio, seemingly to hold his face. The Middle First Class Exorcist didn't budge. "I know you'll be able to do it."

Yukio lowered his eyes to the tabletop. Still, there were _tremendous risks_ involved. The chance of him dying on enemy soil was high.

If that happened, who would protect Nii-san?

(_Nii-san, who was strong enough to defeat the Impure King just with Suguro-kun's support?_

_Nii-san, whose coloured soul marks kept increasing since he entered the True Cross Academy?_)

As the blood brother of Satan's half-human son was thinking mutely, Sir Arthur sighed. "We know it's too much to expect of you-"

Yukio wouldn't let him finish that. "I'll do it," he raised his head and stared at his superior right in the eyes. "In exchange for a favour."

Yukio saw Sir Arthur's eyes widen. The upper half of Sir Light's face was hidden, but his excitement was shown in his crooked smile.

"You're _bargaining_ with us?" his chair toppled as the Paladin rose to his feet. He sounded aghast. "Preposterous! You spawn of Satan, don't think we trust you comple-"

"Arthur!" Sir Light barked, his voice overwhelmingly authoritative. Yukio's hands flew to his pistols, every nerve in his body blaring like an alarm signaling, 'danger!' The blonde knight himself nearly flinched.

The Arc Knight curled his fingers around the back of the Paladin's hand, and Sir Arthur seated himself on another chair.

"We're listening, Okumura Yukio," the Master of Lightning beamed at him toothily.

Yukio placed both his hands on the table, away from the weapons on the back of his waist. It wouldn't do to show them how rattled he was. "My request is for my brother to _not _be executed in the duration of my service. Please let him have as long as he needs to pass the exorcist authorization exam. And if he ever poses any danger, by all means confine him, but let him live." Yukio rushed his plea – his condition, really – for fear of interruptions, emphasizing his last sentence.

Sir Arthur narrowed his eyes. "You're asking for too much!" he stated harshly.

Sir Light, though, had grown quiet. "You're the Red Cross on his back, aren't you?"

Yukio pressed his lips to a thin line. This was why he refused to dress down in public.

(His marks could be used against people he loved.)

The wavy-haired Arc Knight of a schemer curved his mouth so wide it split his face. "Very well," he said cheerfully. "We have an agreement."

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><p>(<em>Cold eyes behind the barrel of a pistol.<em>

"_Please, just die."_)

The day he learned that Yukio was an exorcist – _had been an exorcist for eight years_ – as soon as Rin reached the dorm's bathroom, he stripped off his shirt.

He almost cried when he saw the obnoxious Red Cross reflected on the mirror.

(Rin wouldn't know what to do if Yukio stopped loving him.)

TBC

Review please!

I swear I'm going to update Buddha and WL this week, coz I took leave from work (yay!)

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><p>Notes:<p>

1. wiki/Anpanman  
>2. The Yuri of Yuri Egin means lilies in Japanese.<br>It doesn't mean that a person's mark will be the same on everyone s/he loves (e.g. on Rin's skin, Shirou is a smiley face, but on Yukio's skin, Shirou is a gun) because of course, a person means differently to different people. I hadn't explored this yet, but I will in future chapters. I just don't want the misconception to take hold.

The setting of the story is the reverse of Wired Life. Everyone could see who you love and who love you, but there is no one saying 'they are your soulmates'.

Also, while in WL Yukio failed to be a spy, in this story he did (become a spy).


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